A significant moment in my life regarding language that I can’t seem to forget would take place during this one summer vacation in China. I believe I was still in middle school and my mother had taken my sister and I to Beijing where she grew up. I remember the language barrier was very interesting to me because my sister and I were put in Chinese schools growing up to learn Mandarin. The thing was that we both failed to fully learn the language and came out only understanding basic conversations in Mandarin. Neither of us were comfortable enough with our abilities to really speak the language even though we could understand most of what was being said to us. One moment that summer that really stuck out to me was when I was forced to conversate without my mother translating and speaking for me. 

My mother took my sister and I to this convention that held a ton of activities for kids to do. I ended up participating in this magic show that was occurring there which had rows filled with people watching. There were many other kids my age that were picked to participate in the show but they all had different roles which I don’t remember. I do remember gathering behind the curtain and being told the plan. My instructions were to tuck myself in a tiny box which only I could fit in, and wait for them to open the box to the audience. It was one of those contraptions that had a door inside so when they showed the audience the other side of the box it was empty, but then they did some “magic” and I ended up visible to the audience the second time they opened the box. At the end of the show all of the kids that participated were lined up and had to interact with the audience. We were supposed to tell the audience our name, our age, and a little about ourselves. 

When it was my turn to speak the spotlight hit me and my anxiety kicked in. I was literally unable to speak the most basic of Mandarin and I just froze. Thankfully, my friend who is from Beijing came onstage and spoke for me. She was very social and extroverted so she told the audience everything about me. Starting with my age, all the way to the fact that I grew up in America. I just remember feeling so awkward because on the outside I fit in that environment but deep down I’m just another tourist. The fact that I am Chinese and can’t even speak it while in China, was a very interesting experience that I find somewhat fun.

Being born and raised in New York City, I grew up as an American but my parents have also taught me about Chinese culture and language. I understand and appreciate my heritage, but I have trouble speaking Mandarin because I did not do well in the Chinese school that my parents put me in when I was younger. I can understand a standard conversation in Mandarin but I can not gather the courage to speak it. This sort of language barrier never really bothered me enough to give me the drive to fully learn how to speak Mandarin, even after going to Beijing multiple times where English is rarely spoken.              

              Phoenix Mall           Me Friend Sister